Thursday, July 18, 1974
Lesson #1
[New Jersey - 1974]
I went to all sorts of interesting places as a child. You know…monuments, museums, amusement parks, and petting zoos. I remember one petting zoo especially well. They had the usual stuff: ponies, donkeys, chickens, rabbits, llamas, and baby goats. I really liked the baby goats. They were having a grand old time playing with each other, running around sideways, jumping way up into the air, and butting each other on the head as they made strange little goat noises. This looked like fun to me! So, being the type of kid that I was, I decided to try it myself. I'm sure that the baby didn't quite understand my intent when I first approached with a devilish grin and my head way down low. Goats are smart though, and he figured me out quickly. Too quickly in fact. In a lighting burst of super-ruminant speed, he reared up then butt full bore right into my head, knocking me flat on my ass. I can't remember if I was actually knocked unconscious or just slightly dumber after that. Those goats are serious about their play.
Lesson: Know your adversary's abilities before confronting them. Be wary of anything that looks cute but has horns.
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